Monday, August 16, 2010

Lose Weight Guaranteed!

The (not really) New 100% No Fail Diet!

It’s taking the nation by storm! 

+ No exercising
+ No counting calories
+ No diet coaches
+ No (more) Powder supplements, pre-packaged foods, shakes and cookies.

No one fails on this diet.

It’s the Amazing Homeless Poverty Diet!*

Order now!
Send me your last $39.99 (plus s/h) and I will show you how to lose weight easily!
aka The Starving Artist Diet

*This diet is totally fake. Don't really send me your last $39.99

As my roommate and I walked back from the park, she noticed that in just the little time I have been here I’ve lost weight…and all I had to do was lose my gym membership, lose my job, lose my home and apply to jobs that are not interested in a technology knowledgeable cashier. 

Damn, I could have saved myself a lot of time and money by not wasting it on a membership, healthy eating and gym clothes. I can't afford to buy jeans that fit the current me. 

Note:Subliminal words were intentional.

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