Saturday, August 7, 2010

Shelter Theft / Crime

Only a little better.

  • A previous resident warned me of the two woman here (Trauma Queen and BBF.)
  • My roommate had her purse rummage through and $5 stolen.

Today I went through my tote bag where I keep my personal paperwork stored - informational flyers, one old paystub, application to GR and unemployment app & denial letters ect... all of which has my full name, SSN and CA ID number. As I was cleaning it from things I need and things I do not I discovered someone had placed a financial record account letter from the former resident who left due to the multiple harassment she received from Trauma Queen and BBF. If any of the Shelter Attendees had done a room / personal belongs search before I discovered this, it would have made me look extremely guilty...

TAG - I'm it.

I can't tell any of this to an Attendees because if I do TQ & BBF will know and Target Practice will commence.


Minutes after typing this TQ is complaining that 'someone' stole her trashcan and bitching harshly at her son. I had better go check my room.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Isn't this suppose to be a safe place?

Late in the evening and early in the morning is the only time it's quiet. So I like to take advantage of those times to watch TV. I decided to check the doors, not sure why but I felt the need to do so. The back door is unlock, the front door is unlocked, the window is open (no screen)... isn't the point to a DV Shelter safety?

There is no structure at all and those two women are making me real nervous with their "it won't happen to me here," attitude. 

Pan Fried Pizza

My roommate is still relatively new to the states… and American cooking or convenience cooking is still a very new concept to her. Last night I showed her how to ‘make’ instant mashed potatoes. Today she bought herself and her kids a Tony’s Pizza from the grocery store. She offered me a slice which I welcomed since pizza is normally a no no for me. After I finished I took my plate to the sink and noticed she pan friend the ‘Ready in minutes’ pizza.

Never thought to pan fry an instant pizza but it worked.

It’s the little things that we can learn from our new not originally from the US neighbors.


I was denied General Relief


Because I am not a drug addict, not on the streets literally, I don’t live with a landlord who would accept up to $300 for rent and I'm not pregnant. Because all I seek is transportation help to get to and from jobs, money to pay for my legal medication(I don’t qualify for medical) and a few dollars for life necessities, I don't qualify.

If I’m not able to get a job within walking distance soon or into transitional housing soon my only option is to fake being a drug addict so I can get into rehab. In rehab, I was told from a rehab "graduate"  I can potentially qualify for disability / SSI, re-training at numerous places including actual colleges – for FREE. A metro bus pass for up to three years, free housing and rental assistance (free rent) to move into a new apartment…I’m thinking speed.

It’s a little like Hangman…

This morning I added an arm to the body that was added when I was showing my “smartness.” I woke up early today because today is the day I potentially get to genuinely become a statistic (General Relief Qualification / Orientation if approved appt.) Do I get a Food Bank cupcake with a little plastic Welcome toothpick?

Anyway… One of the residents left yesterday because she called her husband from the house phone and told him what city she was in. The attendee heard the call from outside the open office door and immediately started the process for her to be removed. Because she was gone her chore was left undone – dishes. One would think if there is no one else to clean up after you, you would do so yourself. Hell, I’ve never expected someone else to do my dishes and I’ve been doing my own since I got here. But that is only me. My roommate and I were in the kitchen and I mentioned the dishes. We were talking about general house stuff when I said

“I’m not their mommy and I’m not the house mom so it’s not my business.”

BBF (Best Bitching Friend) walked through the kitchen right as I was saying it – opps. Not sorry though. If this is the long Hangman version I just added an arm. If it’s the express version I've got legs and arms now.

At times she (Trauma Queen) has seemed nice and sincere but the other side is manipulative and threatening....

There’s something disturbing about a size 24 woman wearing a strapless cheetah mumu with thick white bra straps, connector and sunburns showing and dancing to her headset contained music in the kitchen and living room as entertainment for herself and the kids. It’s like seeing where the writers of the Drew Carey Show got their inspiration for Mimi but made Mimi funny instead of scary.

'Unemployment report portrays stagnant job market' - LA Times

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Target practice isn't fun if you’re the target.

I was talking to the son of the trauma queen as he was trying to think of the name of a country but saying "it's a state," until he said Jamaica. Without sounding snobbish (at least I didn't think I sounded snobbish) I explained the difference between states, countries and continents. His mom thought this was me showing off my smartness - whatever.

Yesterday morning, my roommate discovered that the trauma queen's Shelter BBF took her purse, rummage through it and then brought it to her saying her daughter took it to the bathroom. The daughter was in the living room the whole time. The four of us were in the same area when this occurred so it's impossible the daughter could have. After what happened she came to me to ask what could be done if she has written down her cc numbers, ID numbers and or SSN. I advised her to call and put warning flags on her cc agency as well as her SSN just in case of future identify theft. I have little doubt that the woman heard even part of this as she is constantly walking around the house from room to room.

This morning, Trauma Queen & BBF met with one of the house attendees in private outside the kitchen ensuring we both would view the meeting - this isn't the normal meeting place for serious discussions I'm told. Now I'm being given the cold shoulder and hmmfs whenever trauma queen comes into the room. The previous target told me this is how it first started with her.

This is ridiculous... I'm now looking at two different transitional housings so I can get away from this mess as soon as possible.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


I need a place to get it out of me. I’m not expecting help or advice as that is not why I’m blogging. I’m doing it because where I am currently at there is no support of any kind… and if I don’t find a way to at least get frustrations out and released I swear I may go crazy; literally.

I have been in and out of shelters, domestic violence situations and DV shelters since I was a teenager when my mom decided I was then a serious threat to her spotlight attention she received from my father and his locally well known clients. From there it got worse and I have been moving from one DV situation to another since then.

I do have an addiction. I’m addicted to abusive men and I want to get rid of it once and for all. I lost control so long ago (if I ever had control) and I’m tired of it. I’ve finally had enough and am completely starting over from scratch. All but a few boxes of my possessions which are in storage are gone and truthfully, I don’t care.

What hurts more is that I have lost (if I ever had one) what other people take for granted - family. My career skills are at least three years behind what they should be and I can’t get a career position any longer; I’ll be getting a job. But I’m learning to appreciate the value of starting’s a new start and no one starts in the middle.

The only other woman in the shelter who is in the same situation as me is a graduated psychologist in her country…and now she’s applying for the same jobs as me. She has truly helped me see how lucky I am and how lucky Americans in general are. We Americans have so many resources available to us where as in her country there is practically none. In her country her choices in these types of situations is to ether endure the abuse or move to the streets. So while I am not receiving the assistance I was hoping for I am in a decently safe location. It’s now up to me to do the rest on my own.

It's not all sisterly love 

One woman here is the poster child for White Trash. She has been here only a little more than a week and she is already seeing some guy locally that she met at court. Real romance there, she met him while he was waiting for a probation violation. Afterward court for both of them (she was there for a name change,) he let her drive his expensive sports car.

Paraphrased from what Trauma Queen (how I am referring to her) told us of her exciting day and happy news :/

He drove her to some out of the way spot, got drunk and she had to walk back to the shelter because she didn’t trust him to drive her back to the shelter. Now she is complaining about the pain in her knees from walking up & down hills in stilettos. Later she told us about her boyfriend who is in jail but gets out on her birthday. She can’t wait to finally see him again as he is her savior for beating the crap out of her husband and went jail for it for a year for her. But that’s ok because she says that domestic violence shelters provide the best food she ever really eats.

Though I do see the negative influence the mother has on her son, he is actually very smart, sweet and has community togetherness that surprises me. I hope when he grows up he grows better for the experiences he's been through and will continue to go through. There are other stories here in this shelter that I've experienced in under one week, but not nearly as “entertaining” as that woman.

I can’t help but wonder… do some (not all) of us who have ended up in domestic violence shelters deserve what happened to us?