Saturday, September 25, 2010


I'm an adult woman and I am dealing with a bully who hasn't grown up. But I like how Ruben Navarrette Jr. (nationally syndicated columnist & contributor) said it best about today's world.

What used to be considered unacceptable is now thought to be normal, and what used to be normal is now unacceptable.

Father defends his daughter - why didn't the school? 

...the 42-year-old father from Lake Mary, Florida, stormed onto a school bus and -- in a screed captured on video -- threatened the bus driver and some of the students with bodily harm.

"Now everybody sit down; sit down," Jones says on the tape. And then, addressing his daughter: "Show me which one. Show me which one." The girl points in the direction of a group of students, which Jones then approaches. He told them: "This is my daughter, and I will kill the [expletive] who fought her." He also threatened the bus driver.

Jones obviously behaved badly. But he was trying to do the right thing. He didn't board that bus to bully students as some have suggested. This isn't a story about a grown man terrorizing kids for the fun of it.

When is bullying going to be an unacceptable activity?

Read Don't punish dad for defending daughter HERE

Dangerous “Victims”

I’m keeping this short because I have good news. I filed a complaint against Special K regarding the major and small events that she has been doing in an effort to make my life miserable. Yesterday morning my roommate and I went to the store to get a few picnic food items to celebrate her birthday. When we got back I discovered that someone had been in our room. Worse… someone had taken my bottle of mouthwash and poured a tiny amount of bleach into the bottle. Not much but enough that someone with a really good sense of smell (people with medical problems who have developed a good sense of smell) could tell that something other than mouthwash was inside. The mouthwash is clear as is bleach – no one could tell by sight only smell. The only people home were staff, Special K and her roommate. Her roommate had come into our room earlier when she thought neither of us would be there - 7:30, a time I'm usually gone by. However, I slept in because it was my roommates birthday and wasn't planning to go job hunting that day. When she discovered we were both still there she rushed out of our room. Hmmm

I immediately took the issue to staff but because neither I or anyone else saw her do it she was thoroughly lectured and I’m sure threatened to be kicked out…but allowed to stay for now. Now I have to lock up my laptop and our room door has to be locked whenever we leave the actual shelter. My roommate was pissed that it almost ruined her birthday but we quickly made up for it. We headed to the beach where we had a picnic and walked in the waves. It was truly a gorgeous day and I found 3/4th of a sand-dollar on the beach, which I gave to her as a birthday present. I'm poor :p

My back is healing and I’m now able to walk in the sand - for a decent amount of time and distance. Not great but much better then a couple of weeks ago. When I got home (shelter,) I discovered an email requesting an interview from one of my all time favorite websites :) I was so thrilled I jumped around until I remembered my back was sore. I can’t wait to call and schedule an interview. I am going to knock the interviewer’s socks off! I will be so prepared it will almost be scary. The hardest part will be coming up with the money to go to the interview as its in anther county. I'm going to try to sell the last of what I have left thats worth money to pay for the train fare. I don't care that I may have to sell something I love.... for this company its worth it.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Delusional paranoid but not domestic violence

Bad habits are hard to break. I befriended Special K in hopes that if I did she would loosen up. She did until she became a delusional paranoid...but after she dressed extremely sexy, flirted with almost every single good looking man, sexually came on to two members of the band and stayed until after the band stopped playing in hopes of getting at least one phone number. So let me back up a bit....

Special K asked resident (a) and I to go with her to see a band. When we were getting dressed up to go Special K asked me to take a photo of her. This turned into a silly photo shoot using my camera phone. no biggie, just a few silly pictures. At 9 I was ready to go because I wake up early to go job hunting. However Special K was having too much fun dancing like a stripper so she said she would walk home be it.

A couple of days later I mentioned that I needed to come up with a new blog that was personal that I could use for my resume (blogging jobs.) Special K came to me and said she had an idea for me to use as a blog topic. We talked about it where each of us contributed ideas on what it could be about. I came up with the idea of women posting stories about anything at all but the common dominator being that all posting would be women from domestic violence experiences, not writing stories about domestic violence just that they had that one common trait. Special K asked questions and the conclusion was that it wasn’t a good idea because it was too difficult to do.

After the conversation I went to my room to get dressed and ready to leave for job hunting. I went into the kitchen and Special K immediately verbally attacked me accusing me of posting things about her online, demanding I remove things I had said about her online, telling me I did not have her permission to talk about her online and then demanded I delete the
photos I took of her.

I repeatedly told her that I have never posted her pictures online and hadn't even uploaded them to email to her (as she requested.) I told her I would delete the pictures and said she can watch me delete them. She continually told me to remove anything I said about her online and I did not have her permission to talk about her ect…

When we went to my room I handed Kelly (opps) my phone so she could delete the pictures herself…which she did and deleted personal photos that were not even taken in the city of Los Angeles. I then showed her that I deleted the photos not only of her but of all of us as well. She repeatedly asked me if I had uploaded her pictures to the internet and I told her over and over I would show her my email account to prove nothing but that the other resident's pictures were emailed from that night.

Then she questioned me about having photos of children in my phone (the ones she deleted). At that point I got severely defensive and said those photos were of my friend’s kids and she had no rights what so ever to tell me what pictures I
could not have.

From there it only escalated... when I got home she played the wounded 16 year old. After five minutes too many I told her to take it to the staff, which she did. When I followed to talk to staff she accused me of stalking and chasing after her, bashing the office door in (I refused to let it be slammed in my face by her) and then said I was preventing her from leaving the office because I was in the doorway.

Tonight I refused to change my routine and did as I always do after a day of job looking... got my laptop and went to the dining hall to watch tv and research work (resume) related blog information. She immediately cried to the staff about how unfair I was to be using my laptop in her presence. Complained and bitched so much that the staff member finally came to me to go to the office to use my laptop. At first I said she needed to grow up and deal with it. But I could see how frustrated she was with Special K so I relented. Apparently she had ranted and complained for well over 30 minutes. That was how long I was watching TV before she came to me. She also took me aside and kindly asked me to try and stay on this side for a while to give her space. We both know it’s not fair to me but one of us has to give in and be sensible and it isn't worth a fight for me so... here I am in the office space. But I'm going back and Kelly (opps) can just throw her hissy fit until she long as I don't have to clean it up.

One thing I have learned from this experience is that not all of the women who go to DV Shelters belong here. They may be fucked up basket cases but that doesn't mean they deserve to go to a DV Shelter. If I had to live with Special K I would do heavy drugs too. Then again there is such a thing as an eviction process...the drugs are easier.

The sad truth is that she is jealous. My roommate and I get along really well (hmm maybe I’m not such a bitch) and we spent last laughing so hard we were in tears. We saw her walk back and forth outside our window at least twice. We’re in a separate building so we only go inside the main building for the kitchen and meals. Since this begun Special K has tried to cozy up to my roommate who wants nothing to do with her because she is creeped out by the overly friendly (desperate) attempts at friendship with her. She doesn’t like to be touched and Special K literally forces herself onto her and hugs her…or tries to. Now my roommate is timid of even going to the kitchen without me. Grrreeat. :/