It’s War

I just started a war.

Tonight I was pushed too far. After all of the non Hispanic woman complained and those complaints have continually been ignored it got worse. We were told that we are the residents it’s our job to figure it ourselves. However we have tried that and even though the problems have escalated the staff will not step in. I am now forced to go to a public café, spend money I shouldn’t just so I can earn a little extra money online (now only $2 at most after buying a coffee and website service fees for the contract work I do.) So a $4 job which is a lot less than half the normal rate for what I do for an hour (not cyber sex) is now only $1 or $2 depending if I have to take a bus there and how much a coffee or soda costs. In addition it’s now freezing. I have no money for a winter jacket but oh well. If I want to make that $1 or $2 an hour as well as continue to push my career further that is what I have to do.

The Hispanic women are hording food in their rooms and so today I made myself five sandwiches so that I could at least have one sandwich a day for lunch…but I’m lectured about it even though all of the non-Hispanic women have complained about the food hording and food wasted by them and their children for at least a week.

I’m forced out of the house and into the cold and I’m expected to do an equal share and more so of the chores. I told her no. I said I would clean up after myself but that’s it. I said it is not fair that I’m being told to deal with it and that’s that. "It's a shelter and you have to make sacrifices." But the Hispanic women don't? So it's ok that they are screaming, kicking, throwing, punching, defacing the property, refusing to allow the other residents to watch tv, waste food and horde food and making it impossible for all the other residents to be in the same room with them...what sacrifices are they making?

If I don’t have an equal share of the house common areas, or the food and if my comfort level does not matter and if I have to spend extra money just to work and suffer the cold because of it than I will not share equal duty in caring for it. Especially when in the past I have gone above and beyond in volunteering to help out with computer issues, extra chores and have even bought and donated items to the house because it was needed.

Angry? You betcha.

Tonight I looked up the program director and emailed her. There was a limit of characters and so I wrote that there were serious issues being ignored and in my opinion there was racial favoritisms happening – with my phone number. Will I get kicked out? Yea, probably. I can’t possibly imagine not being kicked out after that email. But enough is enough and someone has to say something…why me? Because I’m a fucking martyr. I may come out of the internet closet after all… I’ll contact some newspaper journalists if I’m kicked out.

Smart People NOT Welcomed

I am really sick of the prejudice that exist in domestic violence shelters. If you (a DV Victim) are not Hispanic or under educated you are not expected to be a domestic violence victim. I have seen repeatedly how Hispanics are being given extra services or told about services that non-Hispanics are not told about. Examples

There is a mailing service in California where you can set up an account with so that all of your mail is routed through their office and forwarded to you. I only learned of this service through the program counselor (not Hispanic.)

Three of the Hispanic women 2 without kids and 1 with kids were all transferred to a very nice, brand new transitional housing where each resident gets their own room. I’m told it’s not available.

The snobbish Hispanic woman here can easily afford to buy her own groceries. She requests food items from the weekly grocery request list for her singular use and receives them. One resident asked for brown sugar so she could make coffee cake for the house and I have asked for Rice Milk so I can eat cereal and have neither requests were granted.

The other residents and I (non Hispanics) complained about the rapidly increasing rudeness of this woman and what she is allowing her daughter to do…nothing. They only told her we complained and we now have dirty dishes in the sink from her, flies around the kitchen because she now won’t empty the trash or get rid of cooked grease or half eaten food. Now it’s worse.

And now I’m told that I have to cancel a day of (brand new) work because the transitional housing doesn’t want to provide m e a morning time appointment to do an intake interview. It’s not like I have a one day opening only. I’m available any day in the morning and any time on the weekend but I’m told that if I’m serious about getting into a transitional housing program I’ll take whatever appointment they give to me.

In addition, there is a questionable atmosphere rereading my employment and new virtual internship – they don’t like that I’m working after their curfew time even before I enter their program. Apparently they prefer non working under educated people to go through their “work training” program. I’ve glimpsed their “work training” program. For people who have never worked before or are newly recovering addicts it’s a great program. But if you have any higher educational at all, even a certificate program it is like returning to grade school from college.

Their curfew is 6pm and apparently the night is filled with so many bad elements that even breathing them in to and from work is not allowed. Internet at the housing other than in their ‘computer lab’ and under their watchful eye is deemed inappropriate. God forbid I look at some website other than EDD or Craig’s List for fabulous (below entry level) jobs and great religious (im)moral roommates.

This is so wrong.

I wish I could outs myself here. I am in no way saying I’m perfect or even near it and I'm not saying I'm better. However I do a lot of good work , work related projects and self awareness things that honestly works towards a better world for kids and adults. However all that is viewed of me (how I feel) is that I’m white, I’m educated and I’m a bothersome women that they have to deal with and put somewhere but will do so with as little resources or assistance as possible.

It’s wrong.