Sunday, August 15, 2010


Thinking Positive

Living in this home is especially difficult when you have just one person who sees herself, her family and her actions as a singular unit – she does not see how her actions, her lack of parental guidance and her dismissive attitude affects everyone else.

She won’t eat anyone else’s dinners (each person takes turns & shares,) but expects everyone to eat hers even though she doesn’t make enough for the entire house and she cooks the same thing every time. Food is provided from the shelter so there really isn’t an excuse. Plus my roommate is vegetarian and it always has meat. I prefer non meat because her meal is always so greasy. Both of us have stopped expecting dinner from her and we cook before she has a chance to make dinner. This way we can make vegetarian and meat versions for the entire house.

She has been asked (by staff) to start watching her son who screeches and start trying to dissuade him from doing so. She only sticks him outside for the neighbors to be annoyed. We have one woman here who works until midnight and another who is on pain medication from multiple broken bones – this is incredibly selfish and rude for these two women to be woken up between 7 and 9 am because its too much of a bother for the mom to teach him better. It’s incredibly difficult to stay positive when one entity is making it difficult to see past the negative - and I’m also fighting a cold I caught because of this woman.

Because I am in the situation I decided to take a break from everyone in my personal life. However I have remained connected to one person who has proved to be a genuine friend to me (and vice versa). This is the person who encouraged me to leave my abusive boyfriend though neither of us truly understood what that meant and the consequences of leaving… But I don't regret it.

She has been a rock for me. She went through a traumatic life altering situation herself and is still recovering from it as she is on the brink of homelessness herself. Even though both of us are in dire situations we still find moments where we can contribute something to another person. Sometimes it’s each other and often we just do little things without realizing how the little things makes a positive difference to someone else.

We've talked about starting a non-profit group for people who don’t fit neatly inside the current display case of what society sees as Homelessness and those who need assistance to prevent homelessness and even suicide since we both fall outside the guidelines of currently counted and help-able. She believes I'm a social worker in the making :) I’m interested in doing this but feel right now I'm just not ready or willing to do more then help myself.

On the other hand I have been able to help a couple of the women here by giving them transitional programs they fit in with. I found two for my roommate, one of which wouldn't be too terribly far from where I might be. I'm hoping she gets in so we can more easily keep in contact.

Things will come together. I just have to think positive and keep trying.

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