Smart People NOT Welcomed

I am really sick of the prejudice that exist in domestic violence shelters. If you (a DV Victim) are not Hispanic or under educated you are not expected to be a domestic violence victim. I have seen repeatedly how Hispanics are being given extra services or told about services that non-Hispanics are not told about. Examples

There is a mailing service in California where you can set up an account with so that all of your mail is routed through their office and forwarded to you. I only learned of this service through the program counselor (not Hispanic.)

Three of the Hispanic women 2 without kids and 1 with kids were all transferred to a very nice, brand new transitional housing where each resident gets their own room. I’m told it’s not available.

The snobbish Hispanic woman here can easily afford to buy her own groceries. She requests food items from the weekly grocery request list for her singular use and receives them. One resident asked for brown sugar so she could make coffee cake for the house and I have asked for Rice Milk so I can eat cereal and have neither requests were granted.

The other residents and I (non Hispanics) complained about the rapidly increasing rudeness of this woman and what she is allowing her daughter to do…nothing. They only told her we complained and we now have dirty dishes in the sink from her, flies around the kitchen because she now won’t empty the trash or get rid of cooked grease or half eaten food. Now it’s worse.

And now I’m told that I have to cancel a day of (brand new) work because the transitional housing doesn’t want to provide m e a morning time appointment to do an intake interview. It’s not like I have a one day opening only. I’m available any day in the morning and any time on the weekend but I’m told that if I’m serious about getting into a transitional housing program I’ll take whatever appointment they give to me.

In addition, there is a questionable atmosphere rereading my employment and new virtual internship – they don’t like that I’m working after their curfew time even before I enter their program. Apparently they prefer non working under educated people to go through their “work training” program. I’ve glimpsed their “work training” program. For people who have never worked before or are newly recovering addicts it’s a great program. But if you have any higher educational at all, even a certificate program it is like returning to grade school from college.

Their curfew is 6pm and apparently the night is filled with so many bad elements that even breathing them in to and from work is not allowed. Internet at the housing other than in their ‘computer lab’ and under their watchful eye is deemed inappropriate. God forbid I look at some website other than EDD or Craig’s List for fabulous (below entry level) jobs and great religious (im)moral roommates.

This is so wrong.

I wish I could outs myself here. I am in no way saying I’m perfect or even near it and I'm not saying I'm better. However I do a lot of good work , work related projects and self awareness things that honestly works towards a better world for kids and adults. However all that is viewed of me (how I feel) is that I’m white, I’m educated and I’m a bothersome women that they have to deal with and put somewhere but will do so with as little resources or assistance as possible.

It’s wrong.

Visualizing It

Things have been steadily non-chaotic; which is great but doesn’t leave a lot of room to write about and make it sound interesting. My back is steadily healing as I’m spending a little part of each day walking. I’m also spending at least 1 day at the beach for 45 minutes to an hour walking through the waves as a resistance walk to strengthen muscles.

I'm really enjoying my time at the beach alone. Each time I go, being in the water feels more and more natural. Like swimming in a pool at a house you’ve grown up in. The crashing of the waves against my legs is playful and it almost seems as if Mother Nature herself realized I've come over to her house to play for a bit. On the other hand, it also breaks my heart a bit to realize just how much trash washes up on shore and is left behind. I just don’t understand how people who visit the beach can think that someone else will do it for them. I pick up a little here and a little there and I will now participate in Clean Up The Beach events. But it’s only after the last few times I’ve visited that I realize how one day a month is not enough.

Jobs – I’ve moved from applying to all jobs I’m qualified for to applying only to jobs I believe I could be the right candidate for and could be a company I want to work for long term. While at first this may seem irresponsible and lazy I’m finding that by focusing all of my energy on those specific ads and or employers I’m getting better response. I do still apply to some ads that could be within my target hope (for a quality job) but less so than before.

Last week I had five job interviews. The one in the other county hasn't contacted me yet. I have mixed feelings about that one because it is a fabulous company and a dream job...and I did pretty ok in the interview. Not fabulous because I was nervous and made nervous  mistakes, but good. However, I spent a lot more money on the entirety of the interview and getting there and back than I should have. Plus I'm wondering (yet again) do I want to live in Los Angeles county or anther? I'm very torn between the two possibility.  Would I take it if offered? Absolutely. Will I be completely heart broken if I am not offered the position? No.

In addition, I interviewed with a startup with a lot of great potential in the eCmmerence industry. I was allowed to see the beta site and it really is a fabulous website with a lot of features that will worry the competition. Then there is yet anther company I'm interviewing with. While not as alluring as the first one, it is a good company with a solid foundation but slower growth and a lot more challenging work that only mildly appeals to my "professional" and personal interests. Would I turn it down? Not if I was offered the prior one.


Visualization - I went to a MeetUp group and actually listened to one guy (not the host) talk about visualizing what he wanted regardless of how illogical it sounded and then actually getting it. He said it’s a lot like The Secret but without all of the cheezeball commercial fluff. I do believe that positive attracts positive, so I thought how much more different is it from believing that positive energy attracts positive things to visualizing the things you want as actually being yours?

The three things I want right now (and will have) which isn’t too difficult but still stressful and relies on things out of my control are…

1) The kind of position I want for myself right now but leads to a promotion in a field I want to be in and have some experience in. On paper it looks like I’m stepping down from my experience. However, after so much chaos, I want something I’m really good at and moving into harder after I feel more confident and secure.

2) Transitional housing that will lead to my own (studio or 1bd) place with a fenced in type back or front yard.

3) Extra money for Halloween or even to pay off a traffic fine which prevents me from getting my driver’s license back.

There is a long list of things I want and maybe if I list them here…the things I do want in my future but am not ready to have yet will be mine... the actual visualization of those things will put them in some space of limbo so that once I am ready they will happen.

So what do I want that I WILL have… I’m only going to list the things I want for 2010 & 2011. Because while there are things I really want, I’m not ready for them yet, such as a family type boat where I can go boating again.

What do I want that I WILL have by the end of 2011? (Not in any type of chronicle order)

To go back to college to start the process of obtaining a Bachelor’s degree.

Therapist or Life Coach to help me stay on the right path.

Go to a specialist for an undocumented health problem / condition which does affect my work, personal life and self confidence…and have it taken care of (fixed) or confirmed, accepted and get whatever special thing I need for it.

A scooter for city travel

A car – used and paid flat out, no financing.

An RV Van - financed so that it’s not a junker ...and than get rid of the junker so I can save money on insurance and possibly rent. And install a good quality car (RV) alarm for it.

Take mechanic classes so I can fix my own minor car / RV Van repairs.

Take martial art classes. Not just for the hobby and self confidence of getting the colored belts but to truly feel I can protect myself.

Learn how to surf

Take photography classes and buy a nice camera

2 new laptops – 1 for home that has all the bells and whistles and 1 for café use.

An iPad

To have at least $2000 in savings and continue to put money in savings.

I know I said this already but a bathroom all of my own so that kids (or other residents) don’t walk in on me
:o

Into The Skid

Skid Row, here I come.

Well………

Trauma Queen was kicked out while I was gone and took with her most of my socks, two of my bras, some of my quality makeup and all of my personal hygiene items. :/
Thankfully the shelter I’m at now replaced some of the items :)


After a lot of consideration, deep thinking and making a list of strengths, features, negatives, goals and wants I was offered and accepted the transitional housing program in Skid Row. It offers the best chance for me to get back on my feet and a chance for a life three times better then it was before. I’m only publishing it because, well, this should be interesting.

I leave this afternoon.

I contacted Beyond Lazy and was told they're not a shelter. He didn't say what he was so I thought I had the wrong number and hung up. I contacted and made sure I had the right contact..yep.

"We're not a shelter."

"Maybe I misunderstood. I visited your website and assumed you help with transitional housing programs?"

"I am sorry, but we are not a shelter program."

If your not a shelter...what are you and why does your website say Beyond Shelter and use the words help and homeless if you don't HELP the HOMELESS? 

Determination is EVERYTHING

It may be hard, but obstacles can be shoved out of the way.

I have been asking repeatedly for my "Case Manager" to call transitional housing programs in Los Angeles. Each time I'm told its not available for one reason or anther. I don't think the shelter I'm at wants to refer me to Los Angeles shelters. I've asked and asked and then I'm pressured to the X shelters where I haven't even be sniffed at by employers locally. Well I have a job interview tomorrow in Los Angeles. I told my "Case Manager" and was given a slightly dirty look when I made it subtly clear that if I was hired I would not give it up...that any transnational housing program I go to will have to be willing to help me with transportation to the job. Even if it is only until my first check.


Yes, I am being stubborn and selfish. Locally, I have filled out much more then a dozen paper and electronic job applications for jobs that no one over 25 should be applying for. I have sent more then 40 resumes this month alone for jobs. Not a single local employer has emailed or called me. I've placed resume website ads, I scan all the major job websites, use business network websites and I've applied to the county government job program. Yes, I would / will probably be approved. But even that program would not supply a potential job or job leads for at least three weeks. Even then there is no guarantee I would make more then minimum wage in a job that would actually help me advance back into a career and not just a means of existing. I've sent resumes throughout the Los Angeles area and have received a couple of emails, a couple of calls and now an interview. What would you do?


I even let my roommate convince me that the transitional housing program she will probably go to should be considered by me... the transitional housing program that I said is too close to my ex. I said I would consider it as long as I was not required to apply to jobs within five miles of his work. After pressuring me to go there, they now seem unwilling to refer me - WTF?! Because my roommate is going there? Are they now trying to pressure Trauma Queen out of the shelter and onto them to deal with? The transitional housing program is very work mandatory based. She doesn't want a job - I DO!


I understand that it is not the shelter's job to supply me with anything more then a route away from my abusive ex. I understand that they're only requirement is to help me locate the next step - a transitional housing program...and that is all. I get it.  It is my job and only my responsibility to provide anything and everything else beyond that. But why would I step out of the gutter just to step into a path that won't help me nearly as much as another that is only slightly harder to reach?


They are now back to pressuring me again to go to a shelter further away from where the jobs are and are very strict due to drug addicts they give shelter to. I'M NOT A ADDICT ...and I should not be treated like one because they give shelter to drug addicts. That is why I didn't want to go to that shelter. I want a job that can help me secure a future. Is that too much to ask for? Do these agencies get bonus points for keeping shelter residents local? I don't care! I want what is best for me and if that means I cannot be tracked as a statistic that is just too damn bad.


My roommate is loaning me the money for the Metrolink fare so I can go to my interview. AND I finally secured an appt with the transnational housing program that has (I believe) great transitional housing programs and resources. I had to leave several messages and my last one practicably begging for an appointment because I have an interview nearby...but I got it. 

HA!


... and one of the LA transnational housing program shelters (which I won't name publicly) is a $*@!ing joke! Before they allow you into their shelter you have to have 90 days of employment.  Emergency shelters are only 30 days maximum length...If your homeless, chances are you don't have a $*@!ing job!

What is it?

I'm wondering if the unsecured network I'm using is not just one from a local resident (or business) but one directly connected to the shelter. I wouldn’t be surprised. With my barely entry level limited knowledge of networking it is possible to view where computers go (online)…hence if the network I’m using is theirs they could indeed see my blog.

Let me clarify what this blog is.

It’s a place for me to rant, rave, think and just "talk." It's much like a journal but it's a blog. I know anyone can read it if they find it.

I would never be this honest in a blog where my name is publicly displayed. So yes, I'm pretty much saying (writing) almost anything I'm thinking or feeling. I'm not making it up nor am I adding to it as any good story teller does. In fact I'm leaving out some bits because it's either irrelevant or not worth mentioning. Why? Because it's either too boring to even write about or it's trivial and would look worse on me for going on and on about just how much she annoys me. Plus, I'm done. She is truly her own worst enemy and nothing I could say could match the harm she is doing to herself...and no I don't want her to be harmed. I want her to wallflower exist until at least I’m out of here.


I genuinely do feel bad for the shelter who cannot morally tell her to find a transitional housing program (move out.) She is damaged physically, emotionally and mentally. But that does not mean she has a right or a defense for causing me or any other resident stress. Obviously I can be selfish and yes I am indeed being selfish now. I have less than one week left here and I do not want to push the shelter in allowing me extra time. I want to move out, move on and move forward. I want the best possible transitional program I can get accepted into. I have not so typical goals (not dreams) that I want and in order to accomplish those goals I have to be 100% self-sufficient. So am I being a bit selfish? Absolutely.


Being any kind of staff member of a shelter is stressful. Just try to imagine having a minimum of five women coming to you constantly, asking for something or pouring out their daily stress. This zaps a lot of energy from people. The women who work here do try hard and do a lot to not only do their job but really care. I believe that even my Case Manager cares and does not intentionally mean to not help me. In fact I believes she  thinks she is doing what is best but doesn’t understand that by doing nothing she is doing negative. I don’t know. No one can really know all the circumstances that influence someone to chose or not chose choices in their daily lives. Then again she is only now showing that maybe she did listen to what I said and sees that even though I am tech / research capable I cant do it all.

SO

Do I have some grievances? Of course. Can I completely blame the staff for things that happen between residents? No, they can only do so much. Whenever you have a group of people from various backgrounds and experiences, the dynamics are bound to sway negatively at least once in a while.

On the other hand I'm upset that it seems no one here seems to understand why I don't want to take even a minimal chance in running into my ex or my ex seeing me on the street. The Metrolink station stop location is at the interception of the highway exit he exits from to go to the office. No one here (staff) has ever asked me what happened. No one knows how he attacked me, why he attacked or even if there is a chance he would again if he saw me...never been asked "is he dangerous? I mean... is this a domestic violence shelter or a "I had an argument with my boyfriend and I don't want to live with him anymore" shelter?

Five Miles Too Close

The only transitional housing program my "Case Manager" wants me to go to is 5 miles (9 minutes) from where my ex has weekly business (goes to) and she has been told this.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

I looked up the the office compared to the housing location and it is nine minutes away and in an area where I would be looking for jobs. There is no way I am going to allow this lazy worker to 'place' me in a situation where there is even a slight chance I may run into him.

THAT is ridiculous.

I'm now seriously questioning my Case Manager’s qualifications in being a Case Manager. The rest of the staff is pretty friendly though. The case Manager I mentioned previously  is a gem. She goes out of her way to help anyone who needs help. However, I have to wonder why did my 'Case Manager' take this job?

Did she think it would be easy?

Was it luck?

Did she lose interest and burn out on what she thought it would be?

Did she have no other job options?

I'm seriously questioning my own ideas of following through with being a Social Worker after the Trauma Queen experience. I simply do not have the patients to deal with people who constantly cause themselves trauma, drama or stress - i.e. they do nothing to help themselves and only instead incite more problems into they're lives.

I've been told I would be a wonderful Social Worker - would I really?

of the House

Drama Drama Drama 

Trauma Queen has been able to convince at least one person that she is the continued victim and is being unfairly targeted for all sorts of meanness. Her Case Manager is also my Case Manager. Case Manager spends so much time attending to Trauma Queen that maybe she has voluntarily given in and chooses to believe her because it’s easier than seeing through the BS and seeing the truth.


My Case Manager asked me how I was and instead of gifting her with a Trauma Queen expected response I told her the antibiotics were working. I’m sure that is not what she was expecting as she stopped texting on her cell phone and looked up at me with a question in her expression that translated into “is that all?” I didn’t add anything to my answer other than to say I was there to take my medicine.

The three transitional programs I called that I know for a fact have an opening…. I was told by my so called Case Manager, that they no longer had an opening. I plan to call first thing Monday morning and again talk to these three shelters and write down the name of the person I speak to and give those names to my so called Case Manager with a request to call that day… subtly telling the program manager I have found openings.

...and it continues...

Trauma Queen is missing her disgusting soap that has sat in the bathroom shower for at least a month and is now missing. I’m sure it was thrown away as it looked too gross for anyone to want to use. I went into the kitchen where my roommate told me of the newest Trauma Queen Enemy of the House – her. TQ asked if she knew what happened to her soap and my roommate responded she had no idea…

TQ said “I knew you would say that,” and stalked off.

{sigh}

My roommate and I talk about real life issues and unfortunately this has become one of them. I reminded her that her only concern is her and her children. Nothing else matters but providing for them and herself. Just as nothing else matters for me except getting myself back to an acceptable living level of happiness - providing for myself.

She made a statement that I can’t help but sadly agree with and relate to. When you have people like Trauma Queen in the world you can’t help but question whether or not you even want to try to get to know people. However, I pointed out that I can provide an admirable example of why it is worth it. I pointed out the differences between her and myself and stated that even with our differences we get along wonderfully.

“Thats why it’s worth getting to know new people.”

Mint Chip or Mint Chocolate Cookie

Two decisions by any other name is still a choice.

SOCAL covers Orange County to Los Angeles County to Ventura County. Where I’m located is pretty nice but also pretty small. One of the big stress factors for me has been medical care and employment. Medical is now taken care of but employment is uncertain…as it is for thousands of others.

Last night I lost my temper and said exactly what I felt and that may have been a mistake - maybe not.

The stress of the uncertain is weighing on me. Do I go to a shelter in the heart of Los Angeles or do I stay in the general area of where I am? Both areas have their plus and minus features. Where one is quite lovely the other is not. Where one area is ugly it potentially offers more job opening possibilities where the other does not. One is much slower than the other. But the fast pace of the other offers a diversity of possibilities in all areas of life including education. The slower is more relaxed, lived in and comfortable while the other is “be aware and don’t travel down alleyways” cautious.

My personality - hobbies, interests, things that make me smile, keep me interested, make me feel alive... they're all things that rarely exist in just one person. I temporarily feel comfortable in both worlds of sleepy town and fast city life. So how do you choose when you feel so different from everyone else? When you know in a few years you'll be be bored again. I think that is where part of my problem lies. I need to fill all of the interest beakers, balance them on a solid foundation, be true to myself and provide the financial necessaries of being physically me.


Where will I get a job? I don’t know and I don’t know what to do. In the end it is a choice. Two choices where one is no better than the other because it is only a choice. Once you have made it, it’s yours to do with what you can or willing to do with it. I just do not know what I want to do and that in and of its self is stressful.

Honoring the victims?

How best can we / should we honor the victims of 9/11?

Ground Zero Mosque Opponents Have a Lot of Work to Do - Bob Cesca


"Let's begin with the actual ground. The Ground Zero. Literally, the ground. The One World Trade Center (aka. Freedom Tower) website notes the following feature:


The below-grade concourses will include approximately 55,000 square feet of retail space and connect to an extensive transportation and retail network..."



In my opinion I find that using the very space where people died for retail shopping to be offensive. Yes, the towers will need and want retail outlets. Must it be in the ground known as Ground Zero? Why not a library, a cafeteria, a museum...Hell, I would even be ok with a 24 Hour Fitness gym. But shopping for personal luxury seems so damn wrong.

I read the article at The Huffington Post and couldn't help myself from posting a sarcastic comment that some will probably and maybe even should find offensive. Here is the comment I wrote for the article. After posting it and then reading it, I really do wish I could go back to college.


Honor the heroes and victims of 9/11 by bringing in the shoppers! It can be an annual Ground Zero honoring tradition that all shoppers shop (with 50% discounts) until they drop from exhaustion every Sept. 11th. Shopping in ground zero, where so many people died... shoppers will be walking on the dead quiet literally. THAT is much more offensive then a Mosque that has nothing to do with terrorists.




You want to do the victims some justice? How about a homeless shelter for those hit by the economy? The homeless who have not been homeless before. The ones who do not have drug addictions. The ones with some skills that can be taught and are willing to learn new ones…then they can be hired for the thousands of jobs the towers will create. That is honoring the victims. 

Today's Thoughts

Seriously?

JetBlue flight attendant - "After a week of his story saturating a strangely obsessed media, on Sunday Slater procured the services of top publicist Howard Bragman to help deal with media relations and manage the numerous offers said to be coming his way."

A couple of sentences and he gets a celebrity deal? DAMN! I've got a whole coffee table book of stuff I can rant about and I'm definitely available.


Bugs Bunny Penis Scandal: Fact or Fiction?
Ah yes.... Tim Berners-Lee knew that people needed a way to discuss whether Bug Bunny was a transexual, simply gay or even if he had a penis.Don't you feel better knowing that you can, at any given time, find out all the dirty little secrets about your favorite cartoon characters?



But seriously folks, 


I made the calls again as I have every Monday - Friday for the last two weeks and yet again - no openings. However, I am now getting frustrated because the same people who are answering the same calls must recognize my name and voice. A couple of these agencies are now telling me to come to the shelter in person.... Gee I would except there is no transportation assistance from the shelter I am in now, it’s not anywhere close to your agency and I would have to start walking a minimum of 3 hours beforehand and hope I walk fast enough to be there at requested early am (5 am to 7am) show up time.

In addition, the shelter I'm in has curfew times and residents are not to leave between those times...oh and I'm sick and can't afford a doctor so the walk would probably put me in the hospital. Which depending on what hospital I go to I could potentially be dumped (literally) on Skid Row after my hospital visit. Would that convince you I’m serious?

I’m obviously not serious about helping myself. I just don’t have anything better to do than call you everyday and annoy you. :/

Damn! Is there any agency, business, personal dealings that doesn't have political and or pettiness bullshit to sort through?

{breathe}

There is one Case Manager (Attendee) who really shows she cares. For whatever reasons that is not made known to me my "case manager" is a person I see around the place once in a while doing something that isn’t directly related to her “clients”... but that's it. This one person who does sincerely go out of her way to help whoever needs it is why we need these shelters.


No job interviews yet
No new job leads
But still trying.



Maybe I'll take a few better looking photos of myself and officially label myself as an actress or plus size model. Why the Hell not? If JetBlue Boy can be an overnight success for leaving dramatically then surely I have a chance. :p

Reigning Queen

Trauma & Drama

BBF is the now the reigning queen of, well, trauma. Each of us has been through a lot. Each of us have our own screwed up issues and each of us are here for one common reason. There is no arguing that. But the “House Meeting” was nothing more than The Trauma Queen Bitching Hour. The meeting started out harmless enough.

• How are you doing?
• What have you accomplished?
• What do you plan to accomplish this week?
• Any issues?

Trauma Queen did not only take the stage but stole it and kept it hostage. No one was safe from her tirade. First she bashed the Spanish speaking mom in English so she didn’t have a chance to confront or defend herself and then she started in on my roommate who was asleep. At that point I spoke up and gently but firmly said I didn’t feel comfortable talking about someone who isn’t here to confront the issues.

But Trauma Queen would not relinquish her stage. She went on and on until I again spoke up and said.

“All we’re doing is kicking a dead horse. Let’s agree that both mothers need to be spoken to and move on.”

That worked for approximately two minutes. After that I made it obvious that I was uninterested and let her bash away in Spanish knowing I was probably the target for at least scene two.

I stayed awake for that!? What a fucking fraud!

The next morning I did speak up to the attending staff member… I’m sure not much was done but at least someone stood up and said something. If I just made myself a bigger brighter target then so be it.

What really makes me sick (of her) is that she acted as if she did nothing wrong the next morning. Chatting and happily moaning as she went about her way making sure everyone knows yet again as if we couldn't see it or haven't already heard it numerous times before.... that she is injured.

We get it.... We didn't come here to this place thinking we we're going to be the next Big Sister Reality TV Stars!

{breathe}

Again, I remind myself that I have to stay positive for myself. If she is so desperate for the spotlight of any kind whether it is positive or negative that is her concern. Down the road she will see how negative spotlight hogging is only harming her…I hope. I have to worry about me and just me. If I can help someone with something I know, great, but it is not and cannot be my responsibility to point out the better path to anyone.

Time to start making transitional housing calls.

Normal Life?

Staying Positive

One of the most difficult things to do in a shelter, any kind of shelter is staying positive. It really amazes me how many of the women here have and are taking advantage of the shelter. I’m not saying this is the norm for all shelters just the one I happen to be in. My roommate and I both truly appreciate and understand how lucky we each are to be here. We understand that the shelter is paying for the roof over our head, the food we eat and the utilities we need to cook food and do laundry. However, the current residents seem to only take advantage of these offerings... and yes I have my own complaints but I still understand how lucky I am to be here instead of on the streets literally.


Communal living isn’t for everyone so when you feel you have no other choice but a shelter you have to be prepared for making sacrifices that you may not like. Communal living means pitching in for everything - that includes cleaning, cooking, conserving resources and even watching children playing outside. I’m not saying free babysitting but if you see a child doing something not safe, tell the mom or tell the child no. What I am witnessing is that the residents do not seem to recognize that they are part of a hive that depends on the entire hive working together as one and not constantly bickering about what one person doesn’t like.

These two distinctly different attitudes and or approaches are what I believe will be the difference between “normal” life success and potential future returns to a shelter. I’m still attempting to locate a transitional housing program for a non addict female who is not a single mom.

I’m discovering new articles across the US that show there is obviously a need for both family and single person shelters. However, what I am discovering in my own search is that single parents and addicts are still the outreach targets for programs. While homelessness has been a big problem for more years than I could research, the new crop of homeless are people that anyone could claim as neighbors or friends… and the resources for this new crop of ‘Homeless’ is not being met. The new crop of homeless has just as much chance (possibly more) at becoming profitably employed. Not because of their current skills but because they too are willing to learn new skills and get back into “normal” life.

Connections

Thinking Positive

Living in this home is especially difficult when you have just one person who sees herself, her family and her actions as a singular unit – she does not see how her actions, her lack of parental guidance and her dismissive attitude affects everyone else.

She won’t eat anyone else’s dinners (each person takes turns & shares,) but expects everyone to eat hers even though she doesn’t make enough for the entire house and she cooks the same thing every time. Food is provided from the shelter so there really isn’t an excuse. Plus my roommate is vegetarian and it always has meat. I prefer non meat because her meal is always so greasy. Both of us have stopped expecting dinner from her and we cook before she has a chance to make dinner. This way we can make vegetarian and meat versions for the entire house.

She has been asked (by staff) to start watching her son who screeches and start trying to dissuade him from doing so. She only sticks him outside for the neighbors to be annoyed. We have one woman here who works until midnight and another who is on pain medication from multiple broken bones – this is incredibly selfish and rude for these two women to be woken up between 7 and 9 am because its too much of a bother for the mom to teach him better. It’s incredibly difficult to stay positive when one entity is making it difficult to see past the negative - and I’m also fighting a cold I caught because of this woman.

Because I am in the situation I decided to take a break from everyone in my personal life. However I have remained connected to one person who has proved to be a genuine friend to me (and vice versa). This is the person who encouraged me to leave my abusive boyfriend though neither of us truly understood what that meant and the consequences of leaving… But I don't regret it.


She has been a rock for me. She went through a traumatic life altering situation herself and is still recovering from it as she is on the brink of homelessness herself. Even though both of us are in dire situations we still find moments where we can contribute something to another person. Sometimes it’s each other and often we just do little things without realizing how the little things makes a positive difference to someone else.


We've talked about starting a non-profit group for people who don’t fit neatly inside the current display case of what society sees as Homelessness and those who need assistance to prevent homelessness and even suicide since we both fall outside the guidelines of currently counted and help-able. She believes I'm a social worker in the making :) I’m interested in doing this but feel right now I'm just not ready or willing to do more then help myself.


On the other hand I have been able to help a couple of the women here by giving them transitional programs they fit in with. I found two for my roommate, one of which wouldn't be too terribly far from where I might be. I'm hoping she gets in so we can more easily keep in contact.


Things will come together. I just have to think positive and keep trying.

Skid Row

The Dangers of Skid Row

This is where the transitional shelter program I will probably be going to is located.



"Rapist Kidnapping Homeless Women on L.A.'s Skid Row"
Published August 12, 2010 | Associated Press



LOS ANGELES -- Los Angeles police are looking for a man they say tied up and raped two women from Skid Row in the past two weeks.


A police statement says a middle-aged, balding man in a brown van gave a 37-year-old homeless woman a ride on Aug. 1, bound her with duct tape and then raped her repeatedly over the next three days before dropping her off in Koreatown.


Police say a man matching the same description picked up a 29-year-old woman on Monday night and offered her a ride to get food. The van drove to a McDonald's but when the woman refused to perform a sex act, police say the man pulled a knife, bound her with duct tape and drove to Alhambra, where he raped her.


Police say he threw her in a trash bin before fleeing.






I’m homeless, single, NOT addicted to any kind of drugs nor am I a single parent. Because I am not an addict, Spanish or Native American, a former prostitute or a single mom, I cannot find a transitional housing program anywheres else. I am educated, had a job and an apartment but have lost everything due to the recession and a bad boyfriend decision. But because I haven't severely screwed up my life with an addiction or whoring and because I don't want to pop out a kid just for the sake of government help there is no assistance for me.

If you really want to help homeless people who want help, donate money to transitional homeless shelters, donate your time in teaching your professional skills to residents so they can get a job and or hire homeless people in these programs.

As Fast As You Can

Resident or Case Manger?

I was asked that question by the new woman who just moved in..... Something to think about.


I might be giving the shelter a bad 'look'. Since my case manager can’t or won’t help me find transitional housing I’ve been doing it myself. I’m not one to sit on my ass and wait to be handed anything. Well… I believe that a few of the programs I’ve called are wondering and maybe asking...

“Why is she calling us? Why isn’t her case manger calling us?”

Even though I am still two and a half weeks away from my ‘time limit’ and was told that if I can’t find a place I wouldn’t be kicked out, I am being pressured by my case manager to find a place and fast.

Not everyone who needs help is an addict or a single mom.

Gotta Be Something

Addict, Ex-Offender & Prostitute Rewards

...and families... but mostly everything else.


Lighthouse
Mostly only addicts

Candelaria
Native American Only

Project Transitional Living Center
Families Only

Salvavtion Army Ventura
For hardcore / long term addicts & homeless

Turning Point Foundation
Mentally Ill Only

Hawks residence
Addicts

Alexandria House
Addicts & Families Only

House of Ruth
Addicts & Families Only

Salvavtion Army Westwood
Families Only

1st Step Trans Living
Drug Addiction Only

Friendship Shelter
Must be already working BEFORE allowed to enter program

Stephanie Shelter
Must be already working BEFORE allowed to enter program

American Family
Must be already working BEFORE allowed to enter program
or very strong current work history judged by their opinion of what a strong current work history is.

Wise Place
Native American Only

Illumination
Families Only

Mary's Shelter
Young & Pregnant / newborn

Mercy Shelter
HIV/Aids Only

Casa
Young & Pregnant / Newborn

H.O.M.E.S.
Mentally Ill


FYI

Addiction IS NOT a disease.


Disease
dis·ease (d-zz)
n.
1. A pathological condition of a part, organ, or system of an organism resulting from various causes, such as infection, genetic defect, or environmental stress, and characterized by an identifiable group of signs or symptoms.


This is only a partial list as an example. Approximatively 6 out of 10 are only open to drug or alcohol addiction, single or family. The list doesn't include the ones I didn't call because the website said they only accept addicts, ex-offenders, prostitutes and or long term (mostly unchangeable) homeless.

Single women....
If you want help get an addiction. Otherwise buy yourself a vibrator and do without (abusive) men!

Transitional Housing

While researching transitional housing on my own (because only one resource was given and they're full), I stumbled upon the website for the domestic violence shelter I'm currently in. before I came here I didn't look up one on the web as my only concern was "Get out!!!"

The shelter says

"Clients have access to individual counseling, support groups, parenting classes, legal advocacy and a job resource center."

What hasn't been offered and or told wasn't available

Individual counseling
Support groups
Legal advocacy
Job resources


Is this a website for a different DV Shelter some place else? Same name different location?