Selfish

Huge amounts of food has been going missing and residents such as myself are getting less and less. 3 huge packs of sandwich lunch meat and a 40 hot dog pack went missing only 4 days have it was purchased.

Yesterday the DV Shelter bought a big box of fresh vegables and fruit.
Today all but a small container of grapes is left.

The selfish soon to be ex denit's wife has been taking the food and storing it in her room and probably her car. We told one of the staff members but I won't be surprised if yet again, nothing is done about it. All two other residents and I are left with to eat is canned food, condiments, a couple heads of lettuce and macaroni cheese...which I can't eat. Tomorrow is grocery day again and I have no doubt that will change.

...and as I type this the little girl is "playing" rough. Full out punching the older boy with all the strength she has... But it's only playing and mom is ok with this. Anyone wondering why we live in such a violent world?

Fucking Rude

The staff brought us a whole chicken that is way too much for one person, so one of the residents and I asked everyone if they wanted to do a potluck dinner (DINNER.)


The former doctor's wife said she would join in and we were all delighted because she has been snobbish and rude towards the rest of us. However come Saturday and she is just being nothing but rude and inconsiderate.

Everyone knows I wake up and go into the common areas every morning at the same time. Today I woke up late at 9 am (much later then I normally wake up) and she tells me I can't go into the common area because she is cleaning. I tell her I have work to do and I can't put it off. She says five minutes then. Ok, fine. I give her ten and go get my medicine.


I set up my computer and go to the kitchen to take my pill and she says again I can't go in there. I show her medicine and tell her I need to take my meds. She sighs heavily and says again, five minutes. OK than... She is really bossy.... She than tells the new resident to go wash off the entire backyard and proceeds to tell her how to do it and what to do. The problem is that she tells her to do it by turning on the hose right as one of the residents is outside with no shoes on. Rude things like this have been happening all week long.


She starts making her potluck dinner stuff and we're like um ok. It’s early but sure. She dones around 1pm and we than start our cooking (a resident and I) We spend the entire afternoon cutting, mixing, stuffing and cooking and as soon as it's almost done she announces that it's too late. Lunch is from 12 to 2 and it’s too late now. I tell her it was a potluck dinner, not lunch but whatever. She says she's going to the park and will be back later.


I really don't care anymore. We (other residents) have tried to be nice and she has done nothing but rude and inconsiderate to us. We have spoken to staff about it and all along I have said I don't want to get involved because of what happened before with the previous resident (Special K). But now if the other resident tells staff I will back her up. I really feel like she has metaphorically spit on me and I'm done. I'm going to avoid her as much as possible but I know me and confrontation is something I very much need to work on. I don't handle it without having an attitude.


We're pretty sure she is not even from an abusive partner as she is going to a university (education), divorcing her husband (no police report,) doesn't attend any of the support groups and her daughter is in private school...she is just here for free rent.

Just smile and walk off

I feel like I'm walking on glass. I shouldn't have talked to the night counselor about what I found out about my ex. I was freaked out and I know I'm paranoid and for a good reason. But there is absolutely no evidence that he has any clue where I am. I have a huge traffic fine that is preventing me from companies that do background searches and the only way for me to get it reduced or even released is to go through Homeless Court... So I have to stay here in LA County area to do that. If I'm relocated I'm relocated potentially to a different state because my ex has friends and family in other SOCAL areas.

The current resident is grating my nerves. She doesn't clean up anything but her own dishes and thats it. She expects others to do the normal house upkeep cleaning - namely me. I almost snapped at her when I asked her if she could mop the floor this afternoon because I wouldn't be available to do so...and she told me repeatedly to clean the microwave.

{smile, just smile}

I need to keep it together so I can convince the DV Shelter manager I over reacted and get into the transional housing.

Assumptions

When we first met, I didn't assume you were the maid simply because your Hispanic. So don't assume because I don't have a child to care for that I will and should clean up after you and your child. 



Annoyed

I continued to be amazed that some women who come to DV Shelters do not understand that they should clean up not only after themselves but share in the responsibilities of caring for the place that is providing FREE housing, utilities and food. Is it really too much to ask that you mop at least every other day? Or wipe down the counter and tables?

I really honestly don't care that your husband that you left because he was abusive is a doctor. You didn't bring a maid with you so learn to clean up and take a fair share.

:/

Things You Should Know

Things that people should have already learned by age 21 but seems like they haven’t…at least not as a shelter resident. Do people forget, never learned them or simply don't care? If the last is the case, why should those who manage the shelters care about the residents?

I don’t know why the little house / shelter resident things are bothering me today but they are. These are things I have seen at the other DV Shelter as well and now seeing them here. Statistically the residents are different. Is age and culture the difference? Maybe so. How or why do some people forget what environments they came from after a few days to a week and try to enforce their way of living on others... isn't that what we DV woman left?

Consider this
 If it is not ok for us to be made to feel and or physically made to do things our now ex partners wanted us to do, why would it be ok to try to force anther resident to act or to do things we want them to do against their will / preference?

This list of should but don’t know things should be obvious to everyone, but it’s not. Is it because we don’t own this place? It’s not ours; we don’t pay money (rent) to be here so we do not feel obligated to care for it while here? It’s annoying. It’s really annoying that we’re given a free place to sleep, free food to eat, free beverages, free utilities and even free clothing when available and all of this does not include the free resources were given such as free medical care and often step in much quicker than those calling in for an appointment that do not live in a shelter. Uggg I thought my time at the beach resolved some of this but apparently I need an extra dose.

SO

Things that people should have already learned by age 21 but seems like they haven’t…at least not in shelters.

Close the door - The house has two doors, a security screen door and a standard door – close one of them. Flies suck and they’re annoying when they buzz around your food plate when your trying to eat. Plus we have fruits and vegetables on the counter and California has fruit flies – they’re dangerous. Shut at least one of the doors.

Bathroom Privacy - If the bathroom door is shut, knock first, wait to see if someone answers and than wait if you hear someone say they’re in there. DON'T try the door yourself to see if your kid was just making it up. When someone says several times, “Just a moment”, that means give that person a moment to finish their ‘business’ before entering the bathroom.

Dirty Hands - Washing your hands really is a necessity after using the bathroom, especially and specifically for children. They should absolutely be washing their hands after using the bathroom each and every time. I can plainly see what the kids are doing and its worrisome what I can’t see them doing and than wanting to grab and play with me (as all kids like to do with adults who are not their parents) knowing / suspecting their hands haven’t been washed since their bath the night before – GROSS!

Rocks Are Not Toys - Throwing rocks inside the house is not a good idea. Throwing rocks at your brother /sister is really NOT a good idea. I can remain silent on a lot of things but that is not one of them. If you breed them, care for them.

Priorities - Your kids are more important than your makeup and or dying your hair.

Eating Habits - Kids really do need fresh vegetables. Canned dinners and frozen cartoon chicken nuggets is ok occasionally but seriously… the stuff that grows from the ground isn’t (shouldn’t be) optional eating choices.

The shelter took you in because you said you were being abused physically, mentally and or emotionally. That means you have a choice between getting your little life luxuries and continuing to be a victim or being in a safe place with generic items and an opportunity to make your life better so that later on you can afford to have your luxuries without the abusive spouse / partner…which one is more important?

Free doesn't mean you get to abuse it 


If you’re getting things for free appreciate them and don’t bitch about the things you’re not getting. The shelter only offers the 99 cents store type shampoo and conditioner instead of the $5 to $9 shampoo and conditioner – wah. Its free deal with it.

Think about other people than yourself  - You’re not paying rent, utilities, food and referred to medical care when needed as well as encouraged to apply to CalWorks or GR…this means you’re getting money and Food Stamps on top of getting free food and rent… Don’t take advantage of the shelter freebies. Don’t write your name on something the shelter provided for all of the residents to share, help keep the place clean, tidy and request only a few cheap / inexpensive items to compliment your Food Stamps. Do not horde the free items so you can stock pile the food pantry when you move out and into your own place. That’s simply wrong.

Mind Your Own Business - You are here to help yourself not police others to act the way you believe they should act and or do the things you believe they should do. If you have a safety concern, inform the staff. They staff will make a decision. If they decide that your concern is not / will not endanger you or others accept it. You don’t get your way simply because you complained about it.

People Are Different -  If you don’t understand it than tolerate it. Tolerate that they are different and let them be. You don’t have to accept that they are different from you only let them live there with you without your comments, bitching, complaints or stressful nagging that they should try it your way…even after they have and still do not agree with you. Leave people alone that you don’t like.

Think first, act second -  If you’re confused about this, ask a shelter staff attendant.

Dangerous “Victims”

I’m keeping this short because I have good news. I filed a complaint against Special K regarding the major and small events that she has been doing in an effort to make my life miserable. Yesterday morning my roommate and I went to the store to get a few picnic food items to celebrate her birthday. When we got back I discovered that someone had been in our room. Worse… someone had taken my bottle of mouthwash and poured a tiny amount of bleach into the bottle. Not much but enough that someone with a really good sense of smell (people with medical problems who have developed a good sense of smell) could tell that something other than mouthwash was inside. The mouthwash is clear as is bleach – no one could tell by sight only smell. The only people home were staff, Special K and her roommate. Her roommate had come into our room earlier when she thought neither of us would be there - 7:30, a time I'm usually gone by. However, I slept in because it was my roommates birthday and wasn't planning to go job hunting that day. When she discovered we were both still there she rushed out of our room. Hmmm


I immediately took the issue to staff but because neither I or anyone else saw her do it she was thoroughly lectured and I’m sure threatened to be kicked out…but allowed to stay for now. Now I have to lock up my laptop and our room door has to be locked whenever we leave the actual shelter. My roommate was pissed that it almost ruined her birthday but we quickly made up for it. We headed to the beach where we had a picnic and walked in the waves. It was truly a gorgeous day and I found 3/4th of a sand-dollar on the beach, which I gave to her as a birthday present. I'm poor :p


My back is healing and I’m now able to walk in the sand - for a decent amount of time and distance. Not great but much better then a couple of weeks ago. When I got home (shelter,) I discovered an email requesting an interview from one of my all time favorite websites :) I was so thrilled I jumped around until I remembered my back was sore. I can’t wait to call and schedule an interview. I am going to knock the interviewer’s socks off! I will be so prepared it will almost be scary. The hardest part will be coming up with the money to go to the interview as its in anther county. I'm going to try to sell the last of what I have left thats worth money to pay for the train fare. I don't care that I may have to sell something I love.... for this company its worth it.

Delusional paranoid but not domestic violence

Bad habits are hard to break. I befriended Special K in hopes that if I did she would loosen up. She did until she became a delusional paranoid...but after she dressed extremely sexy, flirted with almost every single good looking man, sexually came on to two members of the band and stayed until after the band stopped playing in hopes of getting at least one phone number. So let me back up a bit....


Special K asked resident (a) and I to go with her to see a band. When we were getting dressed up to go Special K asked me to take a photo of her. This turned into a silly photo shoot using my camera phone. no biggie, just a few silly pictures. At 9 I was ready to go because I wake up early to go job hunting. However Special K was having too much fun dancing like a stripper so she said she would walk home alone...so be it.

A couple of days later I mentioned that I needed to come up with a new blog that was personal that I could use for my resume (blogging jobs.) Special K came to me and said she had an idea for me to use as a blog topic. We talked about it where each of us contributed ideas on what it could be about. I came up with the idea of women posting stories about anything at all but the common dominator being that all posting would be women from domestic violence experiences, not writing stories about domestic violence just that they had that one common trait. Special K asked questions and the conclusion was that it wasn’t a good idea because it was too difficult to do.

After the conversation I went to my room to get dressed and ready to leave for job hunting. I went into the kitchen and Special K immediately verbally attacked me accusing me of posting things about her online, demanding I remove things I had said about her online, telling me I did not have her permission to talk about her online and then demanded I delete the
photos I took of her.

I repeatedly told her that I have never posted her pictures online and hadn't even uploaded them to email to her (as she requested.) I told her I would delete the pictures and said she can watch me delete them. She continually told me to remove anything I said about her online and I did not have her permission to talk about her ect…


When we went to my room I handed Kelly (opps) my phone so she could delete the pictures herself…which she did and deleted personal photos that were not even taken in the city of Los Angeles. I then showed her that I deleted the photos not only of her but of all of us as well. She repeatedly asked me if I had uploaded her pictures to the internet and I told her over and over I would show her my email account to prove nothing but that the other resident's pictures were emailed from that night.

Then she questioned me about having photos of children in my phone (the ones she deleted). At that point I got severely defensive and said those photos were of my friend’s kids and she had no rights what so ever to tell me what pictures I
could not have.

From there it only escalated... when I got home she played the wounded 16 year old. After five minutes too many I told her to take it to the staff, which she did. When I followed to talk to staff she accused me of stalking and chasing after her, bashing the office door in (I refused to let it be slammed in my face by her) and then said I was preventing her from leaving the office because I was in the doorway.

Tonight I refused to change my routine and did as I always do after a day of job looking... got my laptop and went to the dining hall to watch tv and research work (resume) related blog information. She immediately cried to the staff about how unfair I was to be using my laptop in her presence. Complained and bitched so much that the staff member finally came to me to go to the office to use my laptop. At first I said she needed to grow up and deal with it. But I could see how frustrated she was with Special K so I relented. Apparently she had ranted and complained for well over 30 minutes. That was how long I was watching TV before she came to me. She also took me aside and kindly asked me to try and stay on this side for a while to give her space. We both know it’s not fair to me but one of us has to give in and be sensible and it isn't worth a fight for me so... here I am in the office space. But I'm going back and Kelly (opps) can just throw her hissy fit until she explodes...as long as I don't have to clean it up.


One thing I have learned from this experience is that not all of the women who go to DV Shelters belong here. They may be fucked up basket cases but that doesn't mean they deserve to go to a DV Shelter. If I had to live with Special K I would do heavy drugs too. Then again there is such a thing as an eviction process...the drugs are easier.


The sad truth is that she is jealous. My roommate and I get along really well (hmm maybe I’m not such a bitch) and we spent last laughing so hard we were in tears. We saw her walk back and forth outside our window at least twice. We’re in a separate building so we only go inside the main building for the kitchen and meals. Since this begun Special K has tried to cozy up to my roommate who wants nothing to do with her because she is creeped out by the overly friendly (desperate) attempts at friendship with her. She doesn’t like to be touched and Special K literally forces herself onto her and hugs her…or tries to. Now my roommate is timid of even going to the kitchen without me. Grrreeat. :/

Nit-Picking

She hasn't been here even 24 hours and she's driving me batty. Complaining about everything the DV Shelter doesn't have, provide or offer and refuses to even hear out a different opinion then her's. Now she's blaming the DV Shelter for not having a dryer with proper drying settings which shrank her clothes. I finally made a sarcastic reply and said matter-of-factly "I'm just glad I'm not still getting beat up."  Of course this annoyed her because she simply wanted to know if I knew how to set a non setting drying machine.

Of course all of it is rubbing me the wrong way. (from a previous post)

"The DV Staff have been saints to me. They scheduled me to see a real doctor who actually cares (female) and not only gave me medication for the {back} pain but referred me to a different hospital for x-rays, counseling and physical therapy. If it wasn’t for them I honestly believe I would have been thrown out on the street by Homeless Hating Hospital and left for the street vultures." 

In addition my former roommate who is from the Middle East made me aware of one very important difference. In her country your choices for domestic violence is stay and put up with it or live in the streets. In America, we have choices. Even if the choice doesn't include my own room, a closet full of my clothes or new clothes and even if it lacks some much appreciated furnishing (such as a garbage can in the bathroom), it is a solid roof over my head in a good area, groceries to keep me fed and everything is free including violence free living. So nitpicking / complaining about the little things gets on my nerves.

"If you don't like it, go back to your abusive partner."

Five Miles Too Close

The only transitional housing program my "Case Manager" wants me to go to is 5 miles (9 minutes) from where my ex has weekly business (goes to) and she has been told this.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

I looked up the the office compared to the housing location and it is nine minutes away and in an area where I would be looking for jobs. There is no way I am going to allow this lazy worker to 'place' me in a situation where there is even a slight chance I may run into him.

THAT is ridiculous.

I'm now seriously questioning my Case Manager’s qualifications in being a Case Manager. The rest of the staff is pretty friendly though. The case Manager I mentioned previously  is a gem. She goes out of her way to help anyone who needs help. However, I have to wonder why did my 'Case Manager' take this job?

Did she think it would be easy?

Was it luck?

Did she lose interest and burn out on what she thought it would be?

Did she have no other job options?

I'm seriously questioning my own ideas of following through with being a Social Worker after the Trauma Queen experience. I simply do not have the patients to deal with people who constantly cause themselves trauma, drama or stress - i.e. they do nothing to help themselves and only instead incite more problems into they're lives.

I've been told I would be a wonderful Social Worker - would I really?

What Would You Do?

Would you say something?

When my boyfriend attacked me, I screamed as loudly as humanly possible knowing all of the windows were wide open. No one knocked on our door or even called the police. When I went outside and was talking to the police on the phone, my neighbors came out to do 'stuff.  They fiddled around with 'stuff' (gawking at the car accident syndrome,) but not a single one would look at me let alone ask me if I was ok.

Everything is OK

Even if it’s not.

24 hours and not the former television show, can produce a lot of blog material. Yesterday late afternoon Trauma Queen fainted again. I thoroughly felt bad for her as I was the one who caught her mid faint and carried her down to the floor…and received a nasty scratch and bruise for my efforts.

I stayed with her performing semi basic paramedic responses – wiggle fingers & toes and take deep breathe. She was out for a short time but kept my voice going while she was out and until the paramedics wheeled her away. The on duty attendee was a bit shaken but handled it well while I kept TQ calm, focused and breathing. This I thought was proof that maybe she wasn’t entirely faking.

I sometimes wonder if there is a part of me that has died. I was completely calm and non reactive during the entire ordeal. It never even crossed my mind to freak out. It was if I was doing something I have done a thousand times before. It actually worries me a little that not an ounce of me was worried or freaked out.

Much later that night in the wee hours of the morning TQ was released and came home. Her arrival wasn’t what I would have expected. For starters I thought with a concussion the hospital would keep her overnight. Second she was pretty lively for someone who has fallen and fainted three separate times in less than a week.

Moving on…

The next morning it was my turn for a visit to the hospital. Not a trip I was looking forward to but a necessary “I need my medicine” visit. However the visit turned out to be more productive then I was expecting. Turns out the hospital has a program for people who have zero income. Furthermore people in shelters get same day temporary approval. So I didn’t have to wait (suffer) without my medicine for days. This has been one of my top three major concerns recently – housing, jobs & how I would get my medicine that keeps me alive.

But before I found out about the program I couldn’t help but start down the same old corridor to insanity way of thinking. What if they don’t provide my medicine? What am I going to do? How am I going to be able to live without it? As always when I let myself slip into that kind of thinking depression quickly slips in… and thoughts of wondering if I would truly be better off dead than constantly fighting to live. Truth is I wish I could. But I have some kind of element inside me that is a survivor and won’t allow me to give up or genuinely kill myself. I’ve tried unsuccessfully and failed without even the decently of the necessity for an ER visit, so suicide is not an option.

But that is neither here or there because the program was introduced to me. But as I always do I think too much and these days have not changed that.

I’m tired of pretending that everything is A OK – it’s not. I’m tired of putting on a happy face whenever I feel people expect it from me. Tired of being the positive one, finding the information needed, being strong and not weak. Even though I know I would hate it, I wish I could be the whiner, the one who needs lots of attentions and help to do everything.

I know that is not who I am but sometimes I just wish it could be.

Bad Day

Sickness & Trauma Queens SUCK!

Woke up feeling like there was a boulder sitting on my lungs.


No openings yet for transitional housing…again


Received a scammer job email asking me for all of my personal identification information


The little boy is screaming his harpy song stronger than usual today. 


Was given a list of employment agencies to contact - over half is work I can’t do or have no experience in…still sending them my resume.


Headache is slam dancing


Trauma Queen took the rest of the saltines into her room… I’m not eating much and saltine crackers have been the only thing I have been eating steadily throughout the day this week. It’s not as if there isn’t an entire kitchen or pantry full of food and beverages so you’d think the bitch could leave me the least expensive snack in the entire fucking shelter!


No drugs so I can’t knock myself out with Nightquil or sleeping aids – FUCK! That could totally qualify as an addiction!


Last night Trauma Queen insisted I feel her goose egg bump where she fell down (again) and knocked her head. Here's a tip - stop falling down for attention! I don't have to touch you to know you have Traumatic Reenactment Syndrome (TRS) - get a therapist not shelter residents to touch your multiple injuries. 


I know that may sound callous but I'm sick of hearing her whine about everything and everyone and listening over and over again to her complaints and issues. We ALL have issues here but now is the time to start the process of getting past them and starting new, not rehashing them every single day. 


Ahhhh - the harpie boy is non stop today!  I even spoke up telling the little boy loudly & very firmly NO! (and putting my finger in front of my lips) - this shocked the boy and his mother for a few moments. She finally took the little harpie outside to annoy the neighbors. 


Headache raging - going back to my room.

Reigning Queen

Trauma & Drama

BBF is the now the reigning queen of, well, trauma. Each of us has been through a lot. Each of us have our own screwed up issues and each of us are here for one common reason. There is no arguing that. But the “House Meeting” was nothing more than The Trauma Queen Bitching Hour. The meeting started out harmless enough.

• How are you doing?
• What have you accomplished?
• What do you plan to accomplish this week?
• Any issues?

Trauma Queen did not only take the stage but stole it and kept it hostage. No one was safe from her tirade. First she bashed the Spanish speaking mom in English so she didn’t have a chance to confront or defend herself and then she started in on my roommate who was asleep. At that point I spoke up and gently but firmly said I didn’t feel comfortable talking about someone who isn’t here to confront the issues.

But Trauma Queen would not relinquish her stage. She went on and on until I again spoke up and said.

“All we’re doing is kicking a dead horse. Let’s agree that both mothers need to be spoken to and move on.”

That worked for approximately two minutes. After that I made it obvious that I was uninterested and let her bash away in Spanish knowing I was probably the target for at least scene two.

I stayed awake for that!? What a fucking fraud!

The next morning I did speak up to the attending staff member… I’m sure not much was done but at least someone stood up and said something. If I just made myself a bigger brighter target then so be it.

What really makes me sick (of her) is that she acted as if she did nothing wrong the next morning. Chatting and happily moaning as she went about her way making sure everyone knows yet again as if we couldn't see it or haven't already heard it numerous times before.... that she is injured.

We get it.... We didn't come here to this place thinking we we're going to be the next Big Sister Reality TV Stars!

{breathe}

Again, I remind myself that I have to stay positive for myself. If she is so desperate for the spotlight of any kind whether it is positive or negative that is her concern. Down the road she will see how negative spotlight hogging is only harming her…I hope. I have to worry about me and just me. If I can help someone with something I know, great, but it is not and cannot be my responsibility to point out the better path to anyone.

Time to start making transitional housing calls.

Normal Life?

Staying Positive

One of the most difficult things to do in a shelter, any kind of shelter is staying positive. It really amazes me how many of the women here have and are taking advantage of the shelter. I’m not saying this is the norm for all shelters just the one I happen to be in. My roommate and I both truly appreciate and understand how lucky we each are to be here. We understand that the shelter is paying for the roof over our head, the food we eat and the utilities we need to cook food and do laundry. However, the current residents seem to only take advantage of these offerings... and yes I have my own complaints but I still understand how lucky I am to be here instead of on the streets literally.


Communal living isn’t for everyone so when you feel you have no other choice but a shelter you have to be prepared for making sacrifices that you may not like. Communal living means pitching in for everything - that includes cleaning, cooking, conserving resources and even watching children playing outside. I’m not saying free babysitting but if you see a child doing something not safe, tell the mom or tell the child no. What I am witnessing is that the residents do not seem to recognize that they are part of a hive that depends on the entire hive working together as one and not constantly bickering about what one person doesn’t like.

These two distinctly different attitudes and or approaches are what I believe will be the difference between “normal” life success and potential future returns to a shelter. I’m still attempting to locate a transitional housing program for a non addict female who is not a single mom.

I’m discovering new articles across the US that show there is obviously a need for both family and single person shelters. However, what I am discovering in my own search is that single parents and addicts are still the outreach targets for programs. While homelessness has been a big problem for more years than I could research, the new crop of homeless are people that anyone could claim as neighbors or friends… and the resources for this new crop of ‘Homeless’ is not being met. The new crop of homeless has just as much chance (possibly more) at becoming profitably employed. Not because of their current skills but because they too are willing to learn new skills and get back into “normal” life.

This is not a hotel

“Do you understand what a DV Shelter is?”

Too many people in the world assume the niceness of a person is a weakness…and sometimes it is. However, I for one am not weak. The newest member of the Bad Male Choice Club asked me about chores and I explained that each of us has a chore or two to do each and every night. The woman said

“But I don’t eat here and I work.”

Me: "You can do your chores before or after work.”

“I work very late.”

Me: “I’m sure that will be fine with staff if you do them a little later.”

“Who makes this list because I need to tell them I work.”

Me: “The staff. Even though you work you still have to do chores.”

She looks for help from the other woman (Spanish speaking only) and they converse.


Let me get this straight…

You believe that because you work you shouldn’t have to do chores? I had to quite a job I was hired for only a short time after getting it because I had to leave my abusive boyfriend and go to a shelter. So how badly were you “abused” that he won’t track you down at your job? If you have a job where he (or she) will not stalk you, than you have a way out of an abusive relationship and have no need for a shelter. That or you should be paying a small fee for staying at a shelter. The shelter is NON profit and there are a lot of fees associated with shelters...any house in general.

Being sick and a bit bitchy I want to tell this lazy bitch who even now is just sitting on the couch watching TV and not doing her fair share ....

"Hey, your not working now. Instead of enjoying all the comforts of free living, why don't you pretend not to abuse the opportunity you've been given and do your fair share of the household upkeep?"

Email Scams

Email Evil

From Kristi Lee Beloved Friend, I apologize writing you this mail but i want you to consider me with much full heartily. Wondering how i got your email,i got it through ancesral online and my heart goes to you. 狢 am writing this mail to you with heavy tears in my eyes and great sorrow in my heart because my Doctor told me that I will die in a week time. Base on this development I want to will my Funds which is deposited in a security company. I am in search of a reliable person who will use the Funds to build charity organization for the saints and help people living with HIV. The person will take 40% of the total sum. While 60% of the money will go to charity organization and helping the Orphanage Homes and the Less Privileges in your society.I grew up as an Orphan and i don't have Relatives / Family member to take care of my wealth. The total money in question is 4.7 million dollars (Four Million Seven Hundred Dollars only).I will provide you with other information𠏋 once you indicate your willingness. Please contact me on my personal email on {} as soon as you receives this mail. Yours sincerely, Ms Kristi Lee.



Do people really fall for this crap?

Connections

Thinking Positive

Living in this home is especially difficult when you have just one person who sees herself, her family and her actions as a singular unit – she does not see how her actions, her lack of parental guidance and her dismissive attitude affects everyone else.

She won’t eat anyone else’s dinners (each person takes turns & shares,) but expects everyone to eat hers even though she doesn’t make enough for the entire house and she cooks the same thing every time. Food is provided from the shelter so there really isn’t an excuse. Plus my roommate is vegetarian and it always has meat. I prefer non meat because her meal is always so greasy. Both of us have stopped expecting dinner from her and we cook before she has a chance to make dinner. This way we can make vegetarian and meat versions for the entire house.

She has been asked (by staff) to start watching her son who screeches and start trying to dissuade him from doing so. She only sticks him outside for the neighbors to be annoyed. We have one woman here who works until midnight and another who is on pain medication from multiple broken bones – this is incredibly selfish and rude for these two women to be woken up between 7 and 9 am because its too much of a bother for the mom to teach him better. It’s incredibly difficult to stay positive when one entity is making it difficult to see past the negative - and I’m also fighting a cold I caught because of this woman.

Because I am in the situation I decided to take a break from everyone in my personal life. However I have remained connected to one person who has proved to be a genuine friend to me (and vice versa). This is the person who encouraged me to leave my abusive boyfriend though neither of us truly understood what that meant and the consequences of leaving… But I don't regret it.


She has been a rock for me. She went through a traumatic life altering situation herself and is still recovering from it as she is on the brink of homelessness herself. Even though both of us are in dire situations we still find moments where we can contribute something to another person. Sometimes it’s each other and often we just do little things without realizing how the little things makes a positive difference to someone else.


We've talked about starting a non-profit group for people who don’t fit neatly inside the current display case of what society sees as Homelessness and those who need assistance to prevent homelessness and even suicide since we both fall outside the guidelines of currently counted and help-able. She believes I'm a social worker in the making :) I’m interested in doing this but feel right now I'm just not ready or willing to do more then help myself.


On the other hand I have been able to help a couple of the women here by giving them transitional programs they fit in with. I found two for my roommate, one of which wouldn't be too terribly far from where I might be. I'm hoping she gets in so we can more easily keep in contact.


Things will come together. I just have to think positive and keep trying.

Common Sense

Make others sick but ask the sick to stay away.

The single mom who is a female life version of Pig Pen... her, the kids & their sleeping room is always filthy...has surprised all of us and yet again has proven that this woman has barley an ounce of common sense. She came to the shelter knowing her young shrieking harpy of a son had the flu and let him play with all the other kids and be around the adults.

Now both my roommate and I are fighting colds and worried about her children. The harpy's mother had the ordasity to ask her son to ask me (because she refuses to learn English) if I should be in the common area with a sore throat and if I had a fever.

I wouldn't be fighting a cold if you had kept your sick son inside your room!

Environments Matter

The environments we are in affects how we act & decisions we make.

BBF is no longer a BBF. When Trauma Queen left she took things belonging to her BBF including her medical sling. T is obviously upset and hurt but she’s also very friendly and pleasant to be around now.

Trauma Queen

"You are your own worst enemy."

If a person wants to screw up their own life than it is their choice to continue being a fuck up or change. But to be so incredibly selfish and think only of yourself while boasting what a wonderful caring “blessed” being you are and then sneak into a bar (repeatedly) while your BBF watches your kid is just wrong.

Trauma Queen was caught and her son (screw her) is paying the price – they were evicted to whatever location she is able to go regardless of where or what it is. I know for a fact that there are very few openings, one of the limited choices being in Skid Rid in Downtown Los Angeles.

I feel a tremendous amount of sympathy for her son. He deserves so much better and this is wreaking havoc in his life. How many times has she done this to him?

Apparently Trauma Queen has been under suspicion – not surprised since she bragged about her drunken date walk of stupidity to an open air kitchen audience. She asked BBF to watch her son while she went to the store. The current Attendee (and only one who really seems to truly care) followed her into a bar. From there I can only guess that she approached TQ in the bar and told her to go back and pack.

In the minutes lapsing between TQ and the house members leaving she screamed it wasn’t fair while her son just cried. What isn’t fair is that he has her for a mother.

How many times does a person have to fuck up before they get it… before they wake up and realize that they are their own worst enemy and causing their own misery? I know I'm not one to talk or judge but then I'm not one with a son depending on me to provide a safe life.

Been down this path before and I'm taking the left fork this time.



"Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error."
Marcus Tullius Cicero